Worst Jokes Ever

RIP K.

When they have a party, they're racist. When they hang out with Ys, they're mean.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.

Cyber bully: Your mom giey.

Me: nO U

I have a fish that can breakdance!

Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

What's yellow and can't float?

A school bus full of children.

What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?

With a pitchfork.

What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"

When the school lets you near children again...

So today an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... Hhah.

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.

She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.

Most people smother babies with love.

I smother them with pillows.

Why is the penis so light?

Because even thots can lift them.

If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.

What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?

Head and Shoulders. 😊

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

How did a blonde commit suicide?

She jumped from the basement window.

What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.