Worst Jokes Ever
Yeoooo.
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Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.
My life.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
My existence.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's fingers.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.
Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.