What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Worst Jokes Ever
4chan
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
Answer: The table part.
My favorite Pixar film: Wall-E.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Maybe the ocean is salty because the land never waves back.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack :)
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.