Worst Jokes Ever
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
Sauron said, "Eye see all."
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
My Butterfingers slipped.