Worst Jokes Ever
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
How many genders are there? One: Men! Women are property!
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.