Worst Jokes Ever
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
My uncle got sued from NASA the other day. He claimed to be the first one to enter Uranus.
Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
My dad asked, "Where are you going?"
Me: "Back to the orphanage."
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.