If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
I joined the military for the group showers.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."