Worst Jokes Ever
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
What do you call a homeless orphan?
Homo-less.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.