I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
Worst Jokes Ever
A man needs to leave for a lengthy business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine.
He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts, “Voodoo Dick, the door!”
The wooden penis flies across the room and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cashier’s desk and, once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box, and the cashier closes the lid.
The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand,” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!”
The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip.
A few days later, the wife becomes very horny and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout, “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can but just can’t get it out. The wife panics and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims, “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!”
The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief.
“Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Guys go to this link......................................................................................https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6/hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go-om-cool-maps-my-name-is-xx_robloxgamer420_xx-pleeease-lets-play-rol......................................................................and read it bum. Don't dislike cuz it'd retarded.
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
What do you call a hillbilly girl who's faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"
Ya mums, ya dad.