What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
An Irishman walked past a bar.
I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.