Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
Quack!
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Fuck nugget!
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
I suck big weiner.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.