What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?
There are 40 of them.
Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!