Worst Jokes Ever
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
Fanta Klare Zitrone is cool.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him :)
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.
When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
What's green then red all over?
A frog in a blender! :)
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.