Worst Jokes Ever

What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?

Stand-up comedy.

Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!

My friends: Hi to my little friend!

C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.

What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?

A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?

"Hello Ladies!"

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

A trom-bone 😂

What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.

Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?

weixian

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

Why was the boy crying?

He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife died.

I'm ticked off by this tick joke!

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.

What did the ankle say to the doorman?

You are a nonsense.

Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

What did the girl get for Christmas?

Cancer.