Worst Jokes Ever
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
Wanna know something funny?
- Women's rights.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
Do you want a book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down!
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?