Worst Jokes Ever
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
Fuck burger.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
Why do toy bears have small eyes?
Because they were made in China.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
Your mom gay.
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet all the koalifications!
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
Well, he’s all right now!
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."