Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.
Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What do you do when a baby starts to cry?
You use more lube.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.
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