Worst Jokes Ever
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
Cancer.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Bust it open for Jesus!
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?
I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!