Worst Jokes Ever
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Fuck nugget!
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
I suck big weiner.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.