Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
Worst Jokes Ever
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Person you don't know, my name.
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.
The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.
The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.
The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.
While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”
My life is a joke.
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.