Worst Jokes Ever
Little girls cry. Big girls say, "F*ck."
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
I eat ass.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't ever find home.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
Quack!
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.