I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Worst Jokes Ever
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
Karolien's life.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
Babies can spread a nasty smell,
especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!