Worst Jokes Ever

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes.

Then it hit me.

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

Science flew us to the moon.

Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.

Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

Why did the vampire go to the doctor?

Because of his coffin.

Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"

I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.

The bus was white.

What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?

A blood bath.

How many times does 47 fit into 9?

Get in the van and find out.

Why was the whale sad?

Because he is blue!

Question: Do you know who Candis is?

Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?

I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."

The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"

What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?

Taxi.

Ehhhhhhhh.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?

There isn't one; they are both the same thing.

I am sorry, but the provided text is just a link to a song on SoundCloud. There is no joke to correct or analyze.

How do you know a vampire's sick?

If he's coffin (coughing?)

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.