Worst Jokes Ever
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
Me and my life.
sans *a'm i pune*
*piris* no.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Person A: Where do you come from?
Person B: Liberia.
Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?