Worst Jokes Ever

The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.

Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!

Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.

What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has rights.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?

It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.

What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

Wanna hear a joke?

This site.

Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.

A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blueberry.

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?

- A baseball bat.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler!

Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)