Worst Jokes Ever
When the school lets you near children again...
So today an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... Hhah.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
Willies.
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.