Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
What do we call a gay Canadian?
Sophisticated cunt.
I don't want to taco about myself.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
I knead bread.
I have breakfast with my boys.
Chomp!
A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
You can say what you want about deaf people...
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.