Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
My life.
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
Shaenaya likes goat dick.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.