Worst Jokes Ever
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
At my most fear, I shit my pants.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
Hi.
Read more.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?
My life.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
Succcccc.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
My joke is so diam funny, or so damn funny.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"