Worst Jokes Ever
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?
Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"
I walked towards him.
"I prefer slit," I said.
"Why?" He asked.
"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
My face.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1
Hey, what's up?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.