What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
Worst Jokes Ever
Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
Bean.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
My penis.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Anime cats.
What is the reason for the first time since I've seen a lot to be desired in the morning? To you, eat ass...