Worst Jokes Ever
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
You really gay. No questions added.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.
Asian without "As" is just sin.
RIP K.
When they have a party, they're racist. When they hang out with Ys, they're mean.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
Cyber bully: Your mom giey.
Me: nO U
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."