Worst Jokes Ever
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What skeleton does Crap-ton of?
A "bone".
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Alia’s YouTube channel.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.