Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a fish with no legs?

Fsh have no legs.

What do you do with legs?

Fsh have no legs.

What do you do with legs?

Break!

I knead bread.

I have breakfast with my boys.

Chomp!

A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

What did the squash say to the tomato?

Ketchup!

You can say what you want about deaf people...

What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?

A xylophone.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

You don't want your computer to go down on you.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had its ion someone else.

Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.

I am looking for Mike Roch.

So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight."

Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."

Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.

Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!