Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It didn't want to get stuck in any more cracks!

A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.

Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?

Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.

Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.