Worst Jokes Ever
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!