Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.
Beans
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Hello Ladies!"
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trom-bone 😂
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?
weixian
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
I'm ticked off by this tick joke!
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.