Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Worst Jokes Ever
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
Stairs.
Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?
Sally in 13 trash cans.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
My dad hits me :(
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
Fuck burger.