Worst Jokes Ever
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
Everyone reading this is gay!
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Despacito.
Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
How do you shrivel a dick?
You all suck!
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!