Worst Jokes Ever
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
You got a dig bick.
You read that wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you read that wrong as well.
You just went and back-checked.
You reread all of that.
You have a pet wussy.
You read that wrong...
You need mental help.
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
What's that stupid girl in your class called?
Thot.
Knock knock.
A joke.
U.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.