Worst Jokes Ever
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
Fortnite
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.