Worst Jokes Ever
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
Send toe pics lol :)
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Die.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"