The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.
Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
I want to die.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.
I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD
PS free sex at my name
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
Two gay kids made their version of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of lattes.
Why is the sun mad at the clouds?
The clouds keep throwing shade.
Butthole.
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!