Worst Jokes Ever

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of dead babies.

I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.

What do you call a high school student?

Alone and depressed.

Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

What’s green, fuzzy, and falls out of a tree? A pool table.

Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.

If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!

Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?

Because she wanted to join the Brownies.

With a poke-poke here,

And a poke-poke there,

Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!

After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.

Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

I had the best butterfingers yesterday.

I dropped it.