Worst Jokes Ever
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
What do you call a dead human?
A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.