Worst Jokes Ever
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
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1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....