Worst Jokes Ever

The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.

Why is the sea salty?

Because the land never waves back.

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.

Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

She replies, "Really original."

Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

She replies, "Ew, gross."

Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

Winner dog 3.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.

What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."

Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.

I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?

A: Because they were a racquet!

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?

He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

What do you call an ugly, grey thing?

Cinderelephant!

Bruh bruh the bruh run bruh stop bruh hi bruh.