Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
How many genders are there? One: Men! Women are property!
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.