My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
I get more care packages than Africa.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because she’s stupid.
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
fdfds.
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
