Worst Jokes Ever

Porky

I like tortles.

Hey dad, I'm hungry!

Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?

I sat on a chair.

One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.

What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?

I told a cookie a joke the other day.

It just crumbled.

What did the baseball player say to the bassist?

Nice baseline!

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.

Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!

Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

What do we call a gay Canadian?

Sophisticated cunt.

I don't want to taco about myself.

Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?

A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?

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