Worst Jokes Ever
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
My cock, lmao.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker.
Can you see me?
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.