Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.