Worst Jokes Ever
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Stand? Wait. No.
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕