What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
Worst Jokes Ever
Willies.
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
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The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
Definition of trust: two cannibals having oral sex.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
