Worst Jokes Ever
My life...
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
These gags are killing me!
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
"Stop being racist. You wouldn't put that for blacks."
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.