Worst Jokes Ever
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
I f*** my dad. Please help me. 😭😭😭😭
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One, if you throw it hard enough.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Ur mom gay.
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!
Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.