Worst Jokes Ever
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
AP Chemistry.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
I have ligma.
Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
Bread?
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”