The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
You really gay. No questions added.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.
Asian without "As" is just sin.
