Worst Jokes Ever
Alia’s YouTube channel.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."