You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
Worst Jokes Ever
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
Do you like doors?
Yes, because you are adoorable.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
You're gay, except it...
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
If you read this, your life is a joke.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
