Worst Jokes Ever
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.