Worst Jokes Ever
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
Why are hill billies so weird? Because their name is Billy.
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Bob: usudgbhdkb g
Ham: usudgbhdkb g
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"