Worst Jokes Ever
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
Oh, hail no!!!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
This shit is disgusting but funny.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.