No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
What is the highest number?
420.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
