Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?

A: You're the chairman of the board!

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.

What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."

What do you say when you see a pig making bread?

He's bacon.

Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.

What do you call a cow you can’t see?

Camooflauged.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.

I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Add me on Fortnite: Bujjj Boy.

"I was lost in the woods yesterday."

"I was in some sticky situation..."

What do you call two bears jerking each other off?

Bipolar.

If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?

What did the sea say to the sea?

Nothing, it just waved.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.

Blueface baby!